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Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
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 2007-12-18 9:44 AM |
Champion  34263     Chicago |  Subject: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.Run4's thread about locker room chatter got me thinkin' ... the only people who seem to talk in the men's locker room at my gym are the schmoes who come in there in their Armani suits discussing the `skanks' they were going out with that night and how they `don't even like her but she's hot' and so on. Yes this was an actual conversation last week between two naked men. Anyway ... Man Law should stipulate that, except in extreme circumstances such as after a sporting event and you're talking about the game, you're not allowed to talk to another naked man in the locker room. Disclaimer: This is not homophobic, it's just irritating that when I'm standing there in all my glory some guy says `Did you see that blonde out there?' or `Man, my pecs are KILLING me!' I'm like ... `Dude. I'm naked.' Any other guy rules as they pertain to the locker room or men's room that we need to establish? |
| 2007-12-18 9:50 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 6962  Atlanta, Ga | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Thou shall NOT blow dry your pubic region while I am trying to brush my hair. This actually happenned to me this morning. I'm brushing my hair after my shower and naked guy puts one leg up on the counter and grabs the blow dryer. Then he starts blow drying himself while trying to strike up a conversation. NO...don't do that...and don't talk to me while doing that!! I ended up just putting a hat on and going to work. |
| 2007-12-18 9:55 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 5117 Brandon, MS | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. I'm cool with casual, general chat in the locker room. This, however, is not an invitation to introduce yourself and shake my hand. No shaking hands in the locker room. A proper introduction can be done five minutes later around the tables by the coffee pot. Cell phones in the locker annoy the carp out of me. |
| 2007-12-18 10:00 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Extreme Veteran 474 W. Michigan | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. My gym's locker room has 6 sinks on the same countertop with a long mirror for them all. With this set up, please don't shave naked. Wrap a towel, throw on some boxers, whaterver. I just don't want to see your junk practically up on the countertop as you lean in close to the mirror to make sure you get that little spot under your lip or to check your nosehair length. |
| 2007-12-18 10:06 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 5529 Nashville, TN | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Wear something. Just don't spend all your time nude in the locker room. No one wants to see your junk. That is why you have towels. I tend to agree with the don't talk to me statement unless you know me. And the only topics that are permissable are sports, working out and sports. If I am in the sauna or hot tub, do NOT talk to me...I am relaxing. Wear shoes. Take your cheap a$$ to wal-mart and buy $5 flip flops. I don't want you to spread you fungus like a wildfire. Layoff the cologne. We don't ALL want to smell like Brut.
Edited by ADollar79 2007-12-18 10:06 AM |
| 2007-12-18 10:06 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Master 2115 Dothan, Al | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. "Hi." ( Note: not "Hi!!!!" "Good Morning, How' you?" "Fine and you?" "Doing well." That should be the extent of all locker room chatter.
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| 2007-12-18 10:12 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Elite 3371 | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. If the curtain is closed, just assume somebody is in the shower. Walk another 10 feet to an obvious open shower. |
| 2007-12-18 10:17 AM in reply to: #1107652 |
Veteran 214 ohio | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Marvarnett - 2007-12-18 9:50 AM Thou shall NOT blow dry your pubic region while I am trying to brush my hair. This actually happenned to me this morning. I'm brushing my hair after my shower and naked guy puts one leg up on the counter and grabs the blow dryer. Then he starts blow drying himself while trying to strike up a conversation. NO...don't do that...and don't talk to me while doing that!! I ended up just putting a hat on and going to work. The same guy works out in my gym, but he will use the blowers on the wall to dry his junk. He is also the same guy who doesn't bring soap and uses the hand dispenser soap to soap up before he gets in the shower. I mean he soaps up every inch, every crevest and yes he has to hit the dispenser 5-6 x to get enough soap... after hitting said crevest... ewwww |
| 2007-12-18 10:20 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Expert 1158 Chicagoland | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. 2x taking it easy on the cologne or deodorant. It seems like I always have a locker next to guy who likes to spray his whole entire body with some cheap cologne. One 2 second spray is all it takes. |
| 2007-12-18 10:34 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
| Extreme Veteran 495 Bluffton, SC | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Thou shall not leave pubes on the counter where I put my toiletry bag..... Thou shall not leave used dental floss in sink for the next user. Thou shall not leave skidded underwear in trash for other members to smell. Thou shall not sit on bench without clothes on or towel down. Thou MUST close door or curtain to shower while using it. Thou shall not use the locker room to waste time …. Please: in and out as fast as possible do not congregate around the television and sinks for general conversation. Thou shall not talk about the female members hot bodies if you do not know who their husband is while you tell him you “Saw it wink”….. (Happened about a month ago) And like everyone else ….. Thou shall not groom, dry, publicly clean, do anything, your junk in the locker room. |
| 2007-12-18 10:35 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 5868 Urbandale, IA | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. I have a tattoo on my shoulder. It says USMC - actually it is pretty cool and I had it designed especially for me, but still - please don't comment on it. Please don't come up and shake my hand because I was a Marine. I appreciate that you respect veterans, but I am changing/drying off/getting dressed and I would really rather that you waited to talk to me until after we both have our clothes on. I actually had one guy come up behind me and touch my shoulder and say "Wow, are those bullet holes in your tattoo?" Dude - that is almost a sure way to get seriously injured. |
| 2007-12-18 10:36 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Extreme Veteran 339 Tucson, AZ | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. No airdrying!! Use a towel. |
| 2007-12-18 10:58 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 6046 New York, NY | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. |
| 2007-12-18 11:04 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 5117 Brandon, MS | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. No need to get on the scale in the buff either. A pair of sandals and some boxers aren't going to throw you off that much. I don't need nudeness on stuff that I'm going to be using. |
| 2007-12-18 11:09 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Oh another one ... Please don't leave old band-aids, razors, towels in the showers! We have a really nice gym with individual showers with big glass doors on them, so honestly, people know if you're shaving your junk in there. No need to hide the razor behind the soap/shampoo/conditioner dispenser. |
| 2007-12-18 11:24 AM in reply to: #1107641 |
Champion 6056 Menomonee Falls, WI | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Okay, personal one here. We have a whirlpool in the men's locker room where you're supposed to not wear any clothes. I'll admit that makes me a little uncomfortable to begin with but fine. One day I'm the only one in the whirlpool, relaxing after a hard workout. Another guy comes into the whirlpool area, naked of course, doesn't say anything, and TURNS OUT THE LIGHT so that the only (meager) light coming in is through the glass door to the shower hall. He then gets into the whirlpool and starts stretching. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I guess my Man Law is: Dudes shall not set a room on "mood lighting" when entering a whirlpool with another naked dude. |
| 2007-12-18 11:32 AM in reply to: #1107815 |
Champion 5529 Nashville, TN | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. scoobysdad - 2007-12-18 12:24 PM Okay, personal one here. We have a whirlpool in the men's locker room where you're supposed to not wear any clothes. I'll admit that makes me a little uncomfortable to begin with but fine. One day I'm the only one in the whirlpool, relaxing after a hard workout. Another guy comes into the whirlpool area, naked of course, doesn't say anything, and TURNS OUT THE LIGHT so that the only (meager) light coming in is through the glass door to the shower hall. He then gets into the whirlpool and starts stretching. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I guess my Man Law is: Dudes shall not set a room on "mood lighting" when entering a whirlpool with another naked dude. OMG...that might be the funniest thing I have ever read!!! |
| 2007-12-18 11:34 AM in reply to: #1107815 |
| Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. I guess my Man Law is: Dudes shall not set a room on "mood lighting" when entering a whirlpool with another naked dude. ROTFLMAO, I love this thread, you must all go to my gym but scooobysdad.... I can think of a precursor to your man rule, along the lines of thou shall not sit in a jacuzzi (you call it a whirlpool, come on) with another naked man...... |
| 2007-12-18 11:34 AM in reply to: #1107652 |
| Iron Donkey 38643 , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Marvarnett - 2007-12-18 9:50 AM Thou shall NOT blow dry your pubic region while I am trying to brush my hair. This actually happenned to me this morning. I'm brushing my hair after my shower and naked guy puts one leg up on the counter and grabs the blow dryer. Then he starts blow drying himself while trying to strike up a conversation. NO...don't do that...and don't talk to me while doing that!! I ended up just putting a hat on and going to work. He's not "beating around the bush" with hitting on ya. |
 2007-12-18 11:40 AM in reply to: #1107787 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2007-12-18 12:22 PM in reply to: #1107827 |
| Champion 6056 Menomonee Falls, WI | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. ChrisM - 2007-12-18 11:34 AM but scooobysdad.... I can think of a precursor to your man rule, along the lines of thou shall not sit in a jacuzzi (you call it a whirlpool, come on) with another naked man...... I'm with you, Chris. And generally, I won't go into that whirlpool if I see a guy is already in there. But in this case, I was there first! |
| 2007-12-18 12:26 PM in reply to: #1107815 |
| Elite 3130 | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. scoobysdad - 2007-12-18 10:24 AM Dudes shall not set a room on "mood lighting" when entering a whirlpool with another naked dude. Playing Barry White on a boombox would be an additional level of unacceptable.
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| 2007-12-18 12:27 PM in reply to: #1107641 |
| Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. We have one guy who comes into the steam room, where everybody wears towels, gets naked and pours water all over himself while stretching. Dude. C'mon man! The funny thing is, now that I think of it, it's one of the guys who was talking about the `skanks' the other day! OH!!! This one is HUGE! Thou shalt not snot rocket in the shower. |
| 2007-12-18 12:31 PM in reply to: #1107641 |
| Champion 4835 Eat Cheese or Die | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. I've been going in the late morning (around 10am) when all the retirees are there. Those guys love to stand around nekkid and chat about who died most recently. Other then that, I haven't spent enough time in the locker room to get any great stories. |
| 2007-12-18 12:32 PM in reply to: #1107641 |
| Pro 3932 Irvine, California | Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version. Rule #14. Do not blow snot rockets on the shower wall or in the sink, or if you must, make SURE you rinse them down the drain. No, I don't need to admire your nasal masterpiece, and I sure as hell don't want to step in it. |
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