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2007-12-18 1:52 PM
in reply to: #1107641

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

since cancelling my gym membership - I've NOT missed these things.  But considering in a couple weeks I'm joining a local Y (for the pool) - this will become relevant again.

 

My man law relates to steam room - feel free to don a towel while steaming - no need to sit quietly in a pool of heated water with you and your junk.  And for all that is holy, don't do naked junk-flapping stretches in the steam room (and for kickers - don't then make idiotic grunting noises - like rotating your shoulders requires a large grunt.  NOOO - don't touch your toes!!!!! EEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!)

My favorite seemed to be that no matter how empty the locker room was, the only other person in the room seemed to have the locker right next to mine - so Man Rule #17:

You shall not hog the floor and bench space around your locker.  And under no means shall you sit bear-behind on the bench.



2007-12-18 2:11 PM
in reply to: #1107641

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

I am crying I am laughing so hard!

 

2007-12-18 2:21 PM
in reply to: #1108114

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Master
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
drchaya - 2007-12-18 3:11 PM

I am crying I am laughing so hard!

 

x2, but trying hard to contain it since I am at my desk.  The men's locker room makes for some pretty hilarious discussion!

2007-12-18 2:28 PM
in reply to: #1107641

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
x2 on sitting on the benches naked. This really hits on my "I want to pull the hairdryer out of the wall and hit you over the head with it" nerve. I don't need my bag, or clothes to be touching the wet buttprints you left on the bench. It should just fall under common courtesy. And I don't buy your too tired to stand - I will lay money down that I work out harder and longer than you do. Just show some respect.

Also - outside the locker room - in the gym - DON'T STAND AROUND AND TALK AND TAKE UP EQUIPMENT AND SPACE! Go to Starbucks or Chili's to HANG - not the gym. The gym is for exercising everything but your mouth.

WOW! I guess I've needed to get that off my chest!
2007-12-18 2:45 PM
in reply to: #1107641

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

Have better aim at the toilet, and not just the ones you stand in front of.  Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers.  I guess this a good rule for all bathrooms, not just men's locker rooms in general.  It does beg the question, how do you miss when you're freaking sitting on it?

I've also been asked if I'd accepted Jesus as my savior by a 60 year old naked man.  That may be the single strangest thing that has ever happened to me.

2007-12-18 2:48 PM
in reply to: #1108169

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
sesh - 2007-12-18 2:45 PM

Have better aim at the toilet, and not just the ones you stand in front of.  Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers.  I guess this a good rule for all bathrooms, not just men's locker rooms in general.  It does beg the question, how do you miss when you're freaking sitting on it?

I've also been asked if I'd accepted Jesus as my savior by a 60 year old naked man.  That may be the single strangest thing that has ever happened to me.

Chances are the guy who missed what running to make it in time and it probably fell out before he got there.  I know someone (and no it is really not me) who in their house went running in and as they sat down "it" landed on the seat as they sat on "it".  Had to jump in the shower to clean off.


2007-12-18 2:51 PM
in reply to: #1108178

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
kproudfoot - 2007-12-18 2:48 PM

sesh - 2007-12-18 2:45 PM

Have better aim at the toilet, and not just the ones you stand in front of.  Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers.  I guess this a good rule for all bathrooms, not just men's locker rooms in general.  It does beg the question, how do you miss when you're freaking sitting on it?

I've also been asked if I'd accepted Jesus as my savior by a 60 year old naked man.  That may be the single strangest thing that has ever happened to me.

Chances are the guy who missed what running to make it in time and it probably fell out before he got there.  I know someone (and no it is really not me) who in their house went running in and as they sat down "it" landed on the seat as they sat on "it".  Had to jump in the shower to clean off.


I'm so immature. I can't stop laughing thinking about `someone' sitting in `it' ...
2007-12-18 2:55 PM
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Elite
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
Under no circumstances should you hum, whistle or sing in the shower. This is not your house... get in, get clean, get out... and don't talk.

Last time I needed to use the locker room there was a guy in the shower whistling the Andy Griffith theme song... horribly. WTF?
2007-12-18 2:56 PM
in reply to: #1108183

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
mr2tony - 2007-12-18 2:51 PM
kproudfoot - 2007-12-18 2:48 PM
sesh - 2007-12-18 2:45 PM

Have better aim at the toilet, and not just the ones you stand in front of.  Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers.  I guess this a good rule for all bathrooms, not just men's locker rooms in general.  It does beg the question, how do you miss when you're freaking sitting on it?

I've also been asked if I'd accepted Jesus as my savior by a 60 year old naked man.  That may be the single strangest thing that has ever happened to me.

Chances are the guy who missed what running to make it in time and it probably fell out before he got there.  I know someone (and no it is really not me) who in their house went running in and as they sat down "it" landed on the seat as they sat on "it".  Had to jump in the shower to clean off.
I'm so immature. I can't stop laughing thinking about `someone' sitting in `it' ...
Me too.  I was laughing while typing it.  What makes it even funnier is that is was my father-in-law.  He has done more stuff that cracks me up including doing "it" while running in a pair of compression shorts and in someones bushes on a busy street at like 5am and locking himself out of his house naked in the middle of winter in Ohio with only a key to the front door and spotlights on the front of the house for xmas.
2007-12-18 3:02 PM
in reply to: #1107641

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

Really, who among us has not had the dreaded photo finish??  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.  But please, pick it up

2007-12-18 3:11 PM
in reply to: #1108199

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
ChrisM - 2007-12-18 3:02 PM

Really, who among us has not had the dreaded photo finish??  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.  But please, pick it up



Um, I, for one, have never been "running so late" I couldn't drop the kids off at the pool and just sort of pushed them out on the curb. Or in someone's bushes.

Although if that event should ever occur, thanks to scooby, I'll always have a poop bag handy.


2007-12-18 3:36 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

this thread took a horribly wrong turn somewhere...

2007-12-18 3:37 PM
in reply to: #1108192

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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
kproudfoot - 2007-12-18 3:56 PM

mr2tony - 2007-12-18 2:51 PM
kproudfoot - 2007-12-18 2:48 PM
sesh - 2007-12-18 2:45 PM

Have better aim at the toilet, and not just the ones you stand in front of.  Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers.  I guess this a good rule for all bathrooms, not just men's locker rooms in general.  It does beg the question, how do you miss when you're freaking sitting on it?

I've also been asked if I'd accepted Jesus as my savior by a 60 year old naked man.  That may be the single strangest thing that has ever happened to me.

Chances are the guy who missed what running to make it in time and it probably fell out before he got there.  I know someone (and no it is really not me) who in their house went running in and as they sat down "it" landed on the seat as they sat on "it".  Had to jump in the shower to clean off.
I'm so immature. I can't stop laughing thinking about `someone' sitting in `it' ...
Me too.  I was laughing while typing it.  What makes it even funnier is that is was my father-in-law.  He has done more stuff that cracks me up including doing "it" while running in a pair of compression shorts and in someones bushes on a busy street at like 5am and locking himself out of his house naked in the middle of winter in Ohio with only a key to the front door and spotlights on the front of the house for xmas.


I doubt he was running ... Many, Many, people attempt the Kangaroo and miss, this is where you hover over the seat so you dont get the "germs" (also a good quad workout for many.) .... Most likley the same guy who uses the hair dryer on his junk in the main locker room.

FYI: I have tears rolling down my face from this thread....
2007-12-18 3:44 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
WTF ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

I come back to this thread to see more locker room rules and I get this????? Seriously, did I click on the wrong thread?
2007-12-18 3:46 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
sesh - 2007-12-18 11:45 AM

Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers. 

Wow...talk about a compounding problem. Now there's a turd on the floor and barf in one of the showers!

2007-12-18 3:50 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
jdwright56 - 2007-12-18 3:44 PM

WTF ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

I come back to this thread to see more locker room rules and I get this????? Seriously, did I click on the wrong thread?


Good point. Back on topic ...

How about the guy who talks to you in the men's room while you're at the urinal.

`Hey bud what's up?'
`Um.'
`Yeah man it's a scorcher out there huh!?'
`Uh.'
`Cool, man. Alright. Later fella!'

I wonder, sometimes, if this guy is talking to me or his little friend.


2007-12-18 3:51 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
PirateGirl - 2007-12-18 3:46 PM
sesh - 2007-12-18 11:45 AM

Yep.  Found a turd laying on the floor besdie the toilet one day.  I ran out and puked in one of the showers. 

Wow...talk about a compounding problem. Now there's a turd on the floor and barf in one of the showers!

And the janitor who got reprimanded for saying "WTF" (not abbreviated) when he looked in the stall.  Apparently there were kids in the locker room that overheard him.

Another rule:  Just because some one is a doctor, it doesn't mean he will willingly "look this and tell me what you think it is." 

*I'm not a doc, but I have heard this said before.  Geez, I didn't realize what a weird place the Y locker room was till this thread made me start thinking about this stuff.

2007-12-18 3:56 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
I had the dreaded old naked man come up to me while I was dressing and tap me on the shoulder and say "wow, your swimming  is really coming along" WTF, NEVER, NEVER comment on anything stroke while your naked and I am in a fury to get clothes on me and get the H out of there Yell
2007-12-18 3:58 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

Also at the local Y we have a big screen and leather couches in the front of the locker room. This fall there was a overweight, middle aged, hairyer than a gorilla dude butt naked rubbing lotion all over himself while chatting about high school football with the fellas.

WHO DOES THAT Frown

2007-12-18 4:13 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
Don't do dips on the locker room benches without any clothes on - I don't care if it is 2pm on a weekday and there aren't many people around.  You are at the gym - put some clothes on and go workout in the area designated for that!
2007-12-18 4:30 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
jdwright56 - 2007-12-18 3:44 PM

WTF ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

I come back to this thread to see more locker room rules and I get this????? Seriously, did I click on the wrong thread?


Fine, fine. But it's a pretty sad world when you have to have a rule explicitly prohibiting grown men from pooping NEXT to the toilet.

Here's a freshie:

Dudes shalt not powder up/slather themselves in lotion in the locker room.

I'll be the first to admit I don't get using baby powder or skin lotion at all, especially not in the presence of other men. But for the guys who do, can't you confine using these things to the privacy of your own home? It always seems I get stuck next to the guy who douses his every nook and cranny with this stuff, creating a big, billowy cloud of crud I have to breathe in and leaving this big white ring around him on the floor for the next guy (which is usually me, when I'm not the guy next to him while he's doing it.)

If you want to transform yourself into the Human Powder donut, do it at home.


2007-12-18 4:31 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.

OMG, this is a hilarious thread! I want to check out the men's locker room now - way more exciting than yuppy moms yapping about whose nanny is better than whose, and saggy, old ladies wandering around nekkid.

 

BTW, I think the proper word in one of the above posts was "crevass". I've never heard of a "crevest". :-P

2007-12-18 4:38 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
If you are going to attempt to start any conversation at all with me in the locker room, and I'm naked, for the love of pete....KEEP EYE CONTACT!!!!

I guess I kinda know how women feel when our eyes dip too low.

2007-12-18 4:44 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
or how about the old man that stands at the sink naked washing out his jock strap then leaves it sit in there for 10 minuets while he showers..

or the 70 year old that puts on so much ben-gay it melts your contacts to your cornea and you have to have them surgically removed...
2007-12-18 4:54 PM
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Subject: RE: Man Law. The locker/men's room version.
AlexB - 2007-12-18 4:13 PM

Don't do dips on the locker room benches without any clothes on - I don't care if it is 2pm on a weekday and there aren't many people around.  You are at the gym - put some clothes on and go workout in the area designated for that!


AND NO naked pushups? Yes.. this happened a few weeks back at the LTF, I go to during lunch...He was also talking to himself, while doing this....I am pretty sure he was low on some medication.

Kenny
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