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2013-10-07 9:28 AM
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Subject: RE: Why would a girl...

Originally posted by tuwood 

I think I fell along the lines of not caring one way or the other due to her being the right person no matter what she wanted to call herself.

That's perfect, Tony. Very sweet.



Edited by lisac957 2013-10-07 9:28 AM


2013-10-07 11:44 AM
in reply to: lisac957

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Subject: RE: Why would a girl...
Originally posted by lisac957
Originally posted by TriMyBest

Originally posted by turtlegirl BC when we are direct, it scares guys away.  Just asking a question is enough to make guys bail.  She doesn't want to lose him, but doesn't want to fully invest unless he is.

I don't buy that, because it doesn't just happen while dating, and only with the big things in life.

Those of us who have been married for years will still have our wives drop hints that they feel like going out to dinner or repaint the bedroom rather than just saying it.  Us guys are often so out of tune with those subtleties that we don't even notice that you're trying to communicate something.

Because when a woman is "direct" they are often labeled a beeyotch or a nag. Then the guy will complain about THAT. Clearly there's a balance somewhere, but sometimes it's hard to navigate. 

 

It's true.  There are appropriate times for being assertive and direct.  If you are like that all the time (man or a woman) you can be a jerk.  I know a girl who claimed to be "strong and assertive."  While I actually like that, I found her to be rude to people who worked in the service industry.  You must balance it with empathy and courtesy.  Like you said, there is a balance.

 

2013-10-07 11:47 AM
in reply to: tuwood

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Subject: RE: Why would a girl...
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by kevin_trapp
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Brit Abroad
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Brit Abroad

Originally posted by mgalanter To be honest I find my level of respect droping an iota for those who change their names after marriage. For the person changing their name (usually the woman) it seems they lack some component of self worth, are slavishly adhering to antiquated tradition or are desperate to marry and will do something silly to acomplish that goal. For the person who wants their partner change their name to be like his (or hers), it seems they are insecure about themselves and the relationship and/or want to establish some form of dominance or ownership at the outset. Plus its so much effort for something so useless. I believe certain Eurpean countries and Quebec do not allow for name changes with marriage, so if you want to change your last name you must go through a full-blown legal rigamarole. I've been married over 12 years and unless there is an arrest warrant on my wife under her original name, I would not want her changing it. Sorry if you don't like my opinion. Flame away.

Don't people do this ALL the time?
Did you buy your wife an engagement ring? Oh man, I hate those antiquated traditions.

Oh no, I changed my name but didn't want an engagement ring...I wonder where that puts me?

Sorry for lowering the tone, but it made me think of this (last youtube clip, I promise)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB0ftOGCKrE

"She'll pretty much have to"--have to what? have sex?

Nice, I don't even get the joke...

BJ

So, on that note...

My wife's maiden name was Belew (pronounced Blew) and she insisted on using a hyphenated name.  I just snickered because her last name was "Belew-Underwood".  It was even funnier because I was in the Navy and my last name was pretty much my first name.

Any time somebody would call out her name, I'd make some comment such as "yes she did" and would quickly get punched.  That lasted about 30 days and she ditched the hyphenated name.  ;-)

I work with a guy with the last name of Blose (pronounced blows).  I can't say his name without muttering or at least thinking, "he needed the money."

 

2013-10-07 2:16 PM
in reply to: briderdt

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Subject: RE: Why would a girl...
Originally posted by briderdt
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by mgalanter To be honest I find my level of respect droping an iota for those who change their names after marriage. For the person changing their name (usually the woman) it seems they lack some component of self worth, are slavishly adhering to antiquated tradition or are desperate to marry and will do something silly to acomplish that goal. For the person who wants their partner change their name to be like his (or hers), it seems they are insecure about themselves and the relationship and/or want to establish some form of dominance or ownership at the outset. Plus its so much effort for something so useless. I believe certain Eurpean countries and Quebec do not allow for name changes with marriage, so if you want to change your last name you must go through a full-blown legal rigamarole. I've been married over 12 years and unless there is an arrest warrant on my wife under her original name, I would not want her changing it. Sorry if you don't like my opinion. Flame away.

wow, wtf?

+1. Seriously?

My ex and I have been divorced for about 8 years and she still uses my family name. Mostly because she is a fairly successful Realtor and wants to maintain her "brand', but also because it's just a better name

2013-10-07 3:24 PM
in reply to: briderdt

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Subject: RE: Why would a girl...
Originally posted by briderdt
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by mgalanter To be honest I find my level of respect droping an iota for those who change their names after marriage. For the person changing their name (usually the woman) it seems they lack some component of self worth, are slavishly adhering to antiquated tradition or are desperate to marry and will do something silly to acomplish that goal. For the person who wants their partner change their name to be like his (or hers), it seems they are insecure about themselves and the relationship and/or want to establish some form of dominance or ownership at the outset. Plus its so much effort for something so useless. I believe certain Eurpean countries and Quebec do not allow for name changes with marriage, so if you want to change your last name you must go through a full-blown legal rigamarole. I've been married over 12 years and unless there is an arrest warrant on my wife under her original name, I would not want her changing it. Sorry if you don't like my opinion. Flame away.

wow, wtf?

+1. Seriously?

I must have glossed past this one originally and missed it.

+2  This was so bad it made me laugh.

2013-10-07 3:26 PM
in reply to: Pector55

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Subject: RE: Why would a girl...
Originally posted by Pector55
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by kevin_trapp
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Brit Abroad
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Brit Abroad

Originally posted by mgalanter To be honest I find my level of respect droping an iota for those who change their names after marriage. For the person changing their name (usually the woman) it seems they lack some component of self worth, are slavishly adhering to antiquated tradition or are desperate to marry and will do something silly to acomplish that goal. For the person who wants their partner change their name to be like his (or hers), it seems they are insecure about themselves and the relationship and/or want to establish some form of dominance or ownership at the outset. Plus its so much effort for something so useless. I believe certain Eurpean countries and Quebec do not allow for name changes with marriage, so if you want to change your last name you must go through a full-blown legal rigamarole. I've been married over 12 years and unless there is an arrest warrant on my wife under her original name, I would not want her changing it. Sorry if you don't like my opinion. Flame away.

Don't people do this ALL the time?
Did you buy your wife an engagement ring? Oh man, I hate those antiquated traditions.

Oh no, I changed my name but didn't want an engagement ring...I wonder where that puts me?

Sorry for lowering the tone, but it made me think of this (last youtube clip, I promise)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB0ftOGCKrE

"She'll pretty much have to"--have to what? have sex?

Nice, I don't even get the joke...

BJ

So, on that note...

My wife's maiden name was Belew (pronounced Blew) and she insisted on using a hyphenated name.  I just snickered because her last name was "Belew-Underwood".  It was even funnier because I was in the Navy and my last name was pretty much my first name.

Any time somebody would call out her name, I'd make some comment such as "yes she did" and would quickly get punched.  That lasted about 30 days and she ditched the hyphenated name.  ;-)

I work with a guy with the last name of Blose (pronounced blows).  I can't say his name without muttering or at least thinking, "he needed the money."

 

Awesome. 


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